What defines you?

Are you specifically gifted or talented, so folks identify you with that gift or talent? “Girl your voice” “Wow great artist” “You can really play…..”

Are you so wrapped up in your work or the ministry that God has blessed you with that this defines you? “Passionate preacher” “Talented worship leader” “Gifted teacher” “The Chick-fil-a lady”

Or are you defined by someone in your life? Are you a mom of a super academic kid or a talented sport child? “Eddie’s mom” or “Dawn’s mom”

What about your spouse? Do you define yourself as, “Ed’s wife”? The “pastor’s wife”? The “chairman’s wife”?

Having recently become a widow, this has been a question for me. Fortunately, and by the grace of God alone, I did not define myself as “Ed’s wife”. God made me to be me and the strong personality that He gave me didn’t allow me to become a shadow in light of my husband. I am thankful for this. However, at times, Ed was defined by me. He was “Pam’s husband”. I realize it was because I was the upfront person and he was my cheerleader, but I didn’t like that at all when I heard folks refer to him that way. I was so proud to introduce him as my “husband” or “hubby” or “my love”; but I didn’t want folks to define him that way.

I have friends who have recently lost their husband too. “Lost”? Why do we say that? We didn’t lose them. As if we will find them again? We really have odd sayings in this language.

OK ….. moving on….

My mom was that way. When my dad died, 46 years ago, she had defined herself as “Delmer’s wife”. Boy did God take my mom down a tough road to learn that He was her everything. I’ve noticed that some of my widow friends truly did define themselves by their husband.That is so sad because I fear it is harder for them to move on. Is half of me gone? NO. But do I feel like that some days? Yes, absolutely. When you have been daily linked to someone for 35 years there is a gaping hole when they die. This was really apparent this holiday season as I wrapped gifts and went to label them; “Dad and Mom” or “Popaw and Grammy”. Of course there were tears.

How are we supposed to be defined? By Christ. It is in Him that we live and move and have our being (Acts 17:28) He is in me and I am in Him. He gave His life for me so I could live with Him eternally. He adopted me as His child. I will inherit heaven some day. (Read Ephesians 1)

Jesus does not want me, or any of us, to be defined by anything except Him. We are precious children of the most Holy God. We are His workmanship (Ephesians 2:10), His clay to be molded as only He can (Romans 9:21). We are to be a light for Him. Salted by His Spirit to add flavor to others lives; persecuted for His sake because we identify with Him. (Matthew 5)

When I die I want to leave a legacy – don’t you? How will folks define me then? I hope that they define me as a child of God; a woman who loved the Lord and loved others; a person who made a difference for Jesus; someone who knew the Word and wasn’t afraid to speak it. These are just some of things I want to leave behind.

How I define myself now will determine the legacy I leave behind.

Published in: on December 31, 2020 at 7:47 am  Leave a Comment  

The Father to the Fatherless

For 46 years now there has been a pain in my heart on Father’s day. Yes, it has lessened over the years, but it is still there. My daddy went to be with Jesus just a few weeks before Father’s day in 1974. It left a pain in my heart that I will carry until I reach heaven and see his face again.

Today I feel that pain almost as deeply as I felt it then. I have watched three families lose their daddy to his heavenly home in the past year and today my children are celebrating, what will most likely be the last Father’s day with their daddy, as he is dying with cancer.

Yes, God is the Father to the fatherless. Praise Him!

Yes, He can heal that deep pain of losing your daddy. Praise Him!

Yes, He can fill and over flow that hole left deep inside that the presence of your earthly Daddy once filled. Praise Him!

Yes, He is so much more than any earthly father can ever be to us. For all these things I praise His holy name.

I am so very thankful that I was consistently reminded that God would be my Father. I admit that at that time I was quite tired of hearing it. But as I got older and began to cling to my heavenly Father, I was so thankful for every person that ever reminded me of this truth.

Today I cling tighter to my heavenly Father than I ever have before because I will watch my children cling to their earthly father.

God is the greatest and most perfect and loving Father there will ever be. He has loved me with an unconditional love that I cannot escape. Today I pray that each person without a daddy will feel that intense, personal and intimate unconditional love wash over their hearts.

Published in: on June 21, 2020 at 5:02 am  Leave a Comment  


So I am trying something.

Because of the current circumstances of my life, I am struggling with complaining and discontent. My momma shared something with me. There was a man in the church I grew up in who tried only giving thanks when he prayed. I think he did it for a week. I loved this man and he had a huge effect on my life, so I thought I would try this. So I am not asking God for anything for a couple of days. I am adoring and praising and confessing and thanking Him all day but no requests. 

So how am I praying for all these folks in my prayer journal and the requests sent to me throughout my day?  When I need to pray for something or someone, I say “thank You Lord for that person and this situation and may it bring You glory”.  As I am beside my hubby all day who is dying of cancer I say, “Thank You Lord for this cancer. Thank You that I get to spend all this extra undivided time with him. Thank You for all the things that it is teaching us. We choose to praise YOU in this storm.”

There is an acronym that I have used to keep me focused in prayer for decades.


Adoration – praise and worship for Who God is.

Confession – asking the Lord to reveal disobedient areas in my life that are not a part of His plan and acknowledging them as sin and confessing and seeking forgiveness from Him.

Thanksgiving – thank Him for everything that He has done and is doing in and through and around me and the folks that I pray for.

Supplications – asking God for needs/stuff; not just healing and material but mental and emotion and physical stuff.

However, right now I am not using the S in this acronym . No requests or pleas for healing. No telling Him what I need in my life or in the lives of those around me. This is a time of total praise and gratitude.

Wanna join me?

Published in: on June 14, 2020 at 6:19 am  Comments (2)  

Thank you…

“Thank You Lord for saving my soul. Thank You Lord for making me whole. Thank You Lord for giving to me, Thy great salvation so rich and free.”

This little chorus has been playing through my head a lot lately. There is so much in these few lines.

“Saving my soul.” Jesus saved me from….the payment/wages of my sinful life – Hell. He saves me to heaven! Oh praise Him!

“Making me whole.” Whole. Complete. Sufficient. He, Jesus Christ, completes me. My darling, my love, my sweet and wonderful husband does not complete me. Jesus Christ, the One and Only Son of God Almighty, the Creator of the universe; HE completes me. Wow!

“Giving to me.” Every thing I need. Everything to completely satisfy my every need and desire. Ephesians 1 lists every thing that is given to us at the point of salvation. What a list! 2Peter 1 tells us that we have everything we need for life and godliness. He has given everything I need AND through the power of the Holy Spirit, I have access to it at all times. The power that raised Lazarus, that raised Dorcus, that raised Jesus; that same power lives/abides inside me!

“Thy great salvation so rich and free.” There is no payment required for any of this. No turtle doves, no lambs or goats, no oxen. I don’t have to kill anything and sprinkle their blood somewhere to cover my sin. Jesus paid it all on the cross, once and for all!

Oh the height and depth and length and breadth of the love that our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ has showered and continues to shower on us each and every day.

Next time that little chorus comes to mind, just sit and meditate on what is tied up in the salvation so richly and graciously poured out on us.

Published in: on June 13, 2020 at 6:15 am  Leave a Comment  

2Thessalonians 2:13+

I give thanks for a lot of people in my life, and more and more as I get older. I will tell you that those folks who “God has chosen … for salvation” and “stand firm” who really bless me. 

At this time in all our lives, not just mine, we need to be reminded to stand firm in our faith. Do we really believe what we say we believe? What we were taught? What we have taught to others? 

I have a dear friend who I mentored for a few years, that throws every thing that I said back at me. He listened and I am pretty sure he took notes on everything I said that I believed and everything I taught him. I cannot tell you how many times (just last night) that he repeated a lesson from my life back to me. 

This is great!  This is exactly what I need….what we all need. We need folks of like faith to stand firm and remind us of what we believe. 

“God will take care of you.”

“Jesus is my everything.”

“Jesus is my all in all.”

“He is my Rock.”

God’s got it.”

“God is sovereign.”

“God will provide.”

“Jesus is my best friend. “

“He deserves all the glory and praise.”

“He will never leave me or forsake me.”

These are things I have said and have had said to me. Do we believe them? Do I believe them? I have friends, yes more than one do this, that remind me of what I have said so I will continue to walk in faith through this tough time in my life. We all need friends like this.

So today I remind you. What have you said about God the Father and His Son Jesus? What have you taught others? Are you standing firm and living like you believe these things? My favorite “reminder/quote” is “He will never leave you or forsake you”. I want to finish that quote for you to meditate on the entire context.

Hebrews 13:5-6 “Make sure that your character is free from the love of money, being content with what you have for He Himself has said, “I will never leave you nor will I ever forsake you”, THEREFORE, we may boldly say, The Lord is my Helper, I will not fear. What can man do to me?”

Published in: on June 4, 2020 at 6:45 am  Leave a Comment  

Controlling God

So did you think about how we try to “help” God get things done?

I believe that the Lord’s desire is for all to be saved. 2 Peter 3:9  So I want to help Him, just like Rebekah did in Genesis 25. I used to try to get folks to follow me in a prayer so I will know that they are Christians. Really? Read that again. Only the Lord knows. He sees their heart. We talk and talk and nag and nag and sometimes beg them to make a decision. Why? Do we think that this puts a jewel in our crown? Ridiculous.

My husband and I are in the process of having in-law quarters built at one of children’s homes. We need to get this done!  Oh how I want to control this situation, and move it along….but I cannot. First the electrician’s mother was ill and ended up needing to be put in hospice. Set back a week. Then she passed away. Set back another week. So he comes and starts. Feels ill. Set back, just a day. Now the plumber, busy but finally returns calls and comes. He can have everything here in a couple days and start. Guess what, he can’t. One parts for the shower, the floor, doesn’t come in. The Floor! Pretty important part. So far set back, week and a half. 

All the nagging and calling and money in the world will not get them to move faster. Should I have hired another electrician because his mom died, after agreeing to give him the job? That would be kind and gracious and show the love of Jesus, right? Should I have said to the plumber, “I will drive and go get the shower floor. I am tired of waiting?” Again, kind and gracious?

I want this place finished. I need this place finished. I need to get in there and I know that God wants me there, but…. His Timing! What if I hired a different electrician and he charged more and did an awful job? What if I went and go the shower floor and it wasn’t the correct one to fit the shower?  What if Rebekah had set back and watched God rearrange things His way and His timing?  Don’t get me wrong, we cannot manipulate the hands of God. He gets His way done no matter how much we get in the way.  

I am sitting back and watching. I am waiting. I am looking expectantly to see how God’s perfect way in His perfect timing will work this out. It sure isn’t getting done my way. So as the song says, “all I did was praise, all I did was stay still”. And trust me that is not what I want to be doing.

I want God’s way. I want to watch Him do it without me getting in His way. I want His timing. It is so much better when I just stand still and see His glory. 

Published in: on May 27, 2020 at 5:54 am  Leave a Comment  

Rebekah Knew

As I was reading Genesis 25 this morning it dawned on me, no Jesus showed me, that Rebekah knew. When Esau and Jacob were inside her womb they fought. I am guessing that she was made so uncomfortable by all the moving around that she went to the Lord and asked what was going on. And God answered.

“Two nations are in your womb; and two peoples will be separated from your body; and one people shall be stronger than the other’ and the older shall serve the younger.”

Rebekah knew. She knew that Jacob was going to be the strongest of the two boys and that eventually Esau would serve Jacob. These words are not cryptic or hard to understand. The Lord was clear on this one.  So if Rebekah knew that this was the Lord’s plan from conception, why did she do what she did?

The scripture lets us know that she loved Jacob more than Esau. Maybe this is where it all began for her. Personally I get from scripture that Jacob was what the world would call a “momma’s boy”. I think that Rebekah probably doted over him and made him that way. (Believe me I have personal experience here.)  So it is reasonable to believe that when Jacob stole the birthright from Esau, he ran and told Rebekah. Don’t you think that she remembered what God had said to her while she was carrying them? I do. I think she immediately remembered and thought that she was witnessing His promise right in front of her.

Now my question is about the deception that followed. Why did she need to help Jacob steal the blessing? Why did she need to help God? Oh my….did your conscience feel that? Mine did. That is exactly what happened this morning as I read. I felt God say, “Pamela, why do you think you need to help Me?” 

Folks, join me in this meditation this morning. Read Genesis 25 and 27. After God said that the “older will serve the younger” and Jacob already stole the birthright; why did Rebekah need to help him steal the blessing? Why did she feel the need to help God? Why do we do the very same thing?

Published in: on May 25, 2020 at 6:49 am  Leave a Comment  


Yesterday my momma turned 80. We are a celebrating family. My momma celebrates everything. She also prays about everything. I remember being very young and my mom sitting on this stool we had at the end of the snack bar in our kitchen. My dad and her were having a conversation. I have no idea what it was about but my dad – who was a very godly man – said to her that she prayed about everything, even about going to the potty. I know that is ridiculous and I do not know the context of the comment but it stuck with me. My parents were praying parents. I remember seeing my daddy stretched across their bed weeping. I went and asked Mom why he was crying. She said that he was crying out to Jesus for forgiveness. Dad had made a decision and the consequences had been great. I will never forget that either.  

My dad passed away right before I turned 10 years old. My momma and my grandma, who lived with us, continued to raise my sister and me by the scriptures. Everything was prayed about. Everything was answered with scripture. The word of God was the end all of everything. It was not our last resort but our only resort.

We couldn’t celebrate with my momma yesterday. Two of my children and their children drove to the front of her home and laid cards on her porch, rang the door bell and then ran back to our cars and sang to her and yelled “Happy Birthday” and told her how much she is loved. She was thrilled. She was so happy and kept saying what a great day she had. 

Now folks I want to tell you that was totally God. My momma loves people. She does not like being alone. She loves and adores her family. Her life is about her family. She has struggled greatly with social distancing during this pandemic. My husband has cancer and is undergoing chemo so I have to be even more careful and cannot see her or hug her. She loves hugs from her kids, grand kids and great grand kids. When I saw how my God had filled my momma up yesterday I wanted to shout “Praise Jesus”. 

If God can fill my momma up like that He can take care of you. He is the ultimate Satisfier. There is no one who can fill up all your empty places like Jesus. I saw that miracle yesterday on the face of my momma. Be encouraged. Not only does Jesus “never leave us or forsake us” Hebrews 13:5-6; but He completes us. He fills up all the gaps and holes in your life if you will let Him. 

Just a few days before her birthday, Mom sent a desperation email about how badly she was missing us. We had to remind her of the seriousness of this situation. She was feeling empty and lonely and longing for the hugs of her kids and grand kids. Then the next day she sent an email where we could tell she had one of her “little talks” with Jesus. Yesterday He filled her. She went on and on about all the things that day that had filled her. 

As I pray for folks I know and those I don’t who are social distancing and feeling the loneliness of it all, I pray that you too will allow Jesus to fill you.

Published in: on April 24, 2020 at 8:14 am  Comments (1)  

Outside the window where I sit to have my quiet time, there are a few beautiful trees flowering white right now. Behind one of them is a red metal roof. Just a little glimpse of it. It is a reminder for me of the cross.

I see that red and it reminds me of the blood of my Jesus that was poured out because of my sin. He died so that I could live eternally with Him. Hebrews 12:2, Romans 5:8, John 14:1-6 …. there are so many verses. 

The beautiful white flowering trees stand in great contrast against the little bit of red roof popping through; but in greater contrast to are all the green pine trees around them.

What a wonderful picture for me this morning. The red, the blood that reminds me of the life that Jesus gave for me. The white, His holy perfection – His robe of righteousness covering over me. The green….the promise of new life, growth; standing beside my Jesus-resurrected and alive- by being in His word and on my knees making me grow up in Him. 

As I write this and look out at these trees, I am reminded me of the death (red) burial (white linens He was wrapped in) and resurrection (green) of our Lord.

This is passion week. The week leading up to the death, burial and resurrection of Christ – Easter. I am so thankful for the pictorial reminder this morning and wanted to share it with you.

Published in: on April 7, 2020 at 6:28 am  Leave a Comment  

Hope from Deuteronomy

I did a 4 month study on Deuteronomy several years ago. I learned so much. I enjoy this book tucked away in the history of the Israelites.

In the midst of this “pandemic” we need hope. I need hope. I know my hope is found is Jesus but I wanted new hope; hope specifically for those close to me with this virus. Oh how I pray for their healing and for protection for those with them.

I re read Deuteronomy 20 this morning. I had lightly highlighted these verses but today they jumped off the page and gave hope to my hurting heart.  Verses 1-4 re minded the children of God how to handle battle in conquering the promised land.  Here are parts of these verse that God shouted into my heart. “do not be afraid of them for the Lord your God….is with you. do not be fainthearted. Do not be afraid, or panic or tremble….the Lord your God is the One Who goes with you to fight for you…to save you.”  Tell me those words do not bring peace and security to your heart.  Oh how they filled my heart this morning.

I say “God’s got this” but do I really believe it? I do! Now I need to act like I do. Every moment of every day; that’s where it is hard.  The moment by moment walk as you get a new message that another person has been infected. Or as you hear “code intubation” as a friend of mine hears it over and over in the ER of a local hospital. That’s the moment by moment when I need to hear these verses. 

The Lord your God is the One Who goes with you fight….to save you.” And He does. 

If you wanna read this in one of the most encouraging and secure bringing passages in the scripture; go to Psalm 139. 

He knows when I “sit down and when I rise up”.

He “understands my thoughts”. I don’t even understand my thoughts some times.

He “scrutinizes my path”. The original is “winnows”. I see Him going before me making the way clear for me.

He knows when I lie down.

He is “intimately acquainted” with me.  I can’t even…no words…

he has “enclosed me behind and before and laid His hand on me”. That is TOTAL protection.

Ok I am going to stop this list and encourage you to finish it. 

There are 24 verses in this Psalm and the security it brings through so many promises is amazing to me. Oh and don’t forget to start in Deuteronomy.

Published in: on April 2, 2020 at 7:39 am  Leave a Comment