What defines you?
Are you specifically gifted or talented, so folks identify you with that gift or talent? “Girl your voice” “Wow great artist” “You can really play…..”
Are you so wrapped up in your work or the ministry that God has blessed you with that this defines you? “Passionate preacher” “Talented worship leader” “Gifted teacher” “The Chick-fil-a lady”
Or are you defined by someone in your life? Are you a mom of a super academic kid or a talented sport child? “Eddie’s mom” or “Dawn’s mom”
What about your spouse? Do you define yourself as, “Ed’s wife”? The “pastor’s wife”? The “chairman’s wife”?
Having recently become a widow, this has been a question for me. Fortunately, and by the grace of God alone, I did not define myself as “Ed’s wife”. God made me to be me and the strong personality that He gave me didn’t allow me to become a shadow in light of my husband. I am thankful for this. However, at times, Ed was defined by me. He was “Pam’s husband”. I realize it was because I was the upfront person and he was my cheerleader, but I didn’t like that at all when I heard folks refer to him that way. I was so proud to introduce him as my “husband” or “hubby” or “my love”; but I didn’t want folks to define him that way.
I have friends who have recently lost their husband too. “Lost”? Why do we say that? We didn’t lose them. As if we will find them again? We really have odd sayings in this language.
OK ….. moving on….
My mom was that way. When my dad died, 46 years ago, she had defined herself as “Delmer’s wife”. Boy did God take my mom down a tough road to learn that He was her everything. I’ve noticed that some of my widow friends truly did define themselves by their husband.That is so sad because I fear it is harder for them to move on. Is half of me gone? NO. But do I feel like that some days? Yes, absolutely. When you have been daily linked to someone for 35 years there is a gaping hole when they die. This was really apparent this holiday season as I wrapped gifts and went to label them; “Dad and Mom” or “Popaw and Grammy”. Of course there were tears.
How are we supposed to be defined? By Christ. It is in Him that we live and move and have our being (Acts 17:28) He is in me and I am in Him. He gave His life for me so I could live with Him eternally. He adopted me as His child. I will inherit heaven some day. (Read Ephesians 1)
Jesus does not want me, or any of us, to be defined by anything except Him. We are precious children of the most Holy God. We are His workmanship (Ephesians 2:10), His clay to be molded as only He can (Romans 9:21). We are to be a light for Him. Salted by His Spirit to add flavor to others lives; persecuted for His sake because we identify with Him. (Matthew 5)
When I die I want to leave a legacy – don’t you? How will folks define me then? I hope that they define me as a child of God; a woman who loved the Lord and loved others; a person who made a difference for Jesus; someone who knew the Word and wasn’t afraid to speak it. These are just some of things I want to leave behind.
How I define myself now will determine the legacy I leave behind.